Sitting Still

I am not stupid. But my brain often hears slowly, especially in times of bustle and stress. I need to sit still, to be still, to hear the answer. If I listen well and long enough, I will know the thing to say, the thing to do. Trouble is, with all the noise and the lists and the expectations, stillness is at a premium and my spirit to brain connection is definitely not 4G/LTE. I often find myself in a bad cell, so to speak. And the download of answers I require comes slowly, like the slowest computer update imaginable. My temptation is to run around searching for better reception, when instead I need to realize that the better reception is within me but I must stop moving, stop rushing and wait, just wait, to have the answers distilled into my mind. 2% 3% . . . incrementally so very slow to reach download complete.

When the answer comes, whatever the answer is, the stillness is worth it and I wonder every time why I waste my energy running around searching when I know that I must quiet myself in order to have the answer. I rarely search successfully. Most often, my successful searches come when I sit still and allow the answer to find me. Maybe that's why I require such wide margins in order to work effectively in life. Maybe one of these days I will get better at protecting my margins instead of constantly opening too many windows, too many apps until my operating system freezes and I am forced to sit and wait--what I should learn to do in the first place. Sitting still. Still sitting still. One day the lesson will stick. Until then, I am grateful for Psalms like this.

"Be Still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Magic v. Power

At this time of year the Pinterest fairies and beasties are out in full force. It becomes really easy to question every element of my holiday observance and come up wanting. By nature, I am not the fun mom. Nowhere is this more apparent than in a world where there are elves on shelves. All motherhood self doubt aside, I have deep philosophical qualms with the concept of the elf on the shelf. I love what the author Hannah Stone said about elves. It sums up my qualms beautifully:

What does this teach kids?

It teaches them that there is an authority outside of parents and the Lord over the home.
It teaches them that we behave for extrinsic reasons.
It teaches them that good behavior is a commodity to bargain with.
Kids learn that the Elf may be naughty but expects goodness. . . .
It teaches children that some unseen bad behavior has no negative impact.
It teaches them that there must be ever-escalating entertainment and novelty.
And scariest of all, it teaches children that parents are so unsure of themselves that they must employ a little leverage.

Nauvoo Times - Hannah Bird - Why There is No Elf on My Shelf

I love magic. We are a Harry Potter family. The inventive way fantasy fiction can tell a story, when done well, is delightful to me. The Tooth Fairy comes to our house. Santa still visits our house in an albeit nominal way. But, I hesitate to supplant real power with fanciful beings, especially at Christmas time. Because there is real power. I want my children to know, without hesitation, that God is the source of real power. That His Son brought real hope, real salvation, real peace and real joy to the world. That priesthood power is real in a way no elf, no fairy, no reindeer or men with sleighs can ever be. I worry that if I let elves in our house or focus too much on Santa and other magical tales of the season, the quiet power of the real Christmas story will be overshadowed. That my children will miss the point.

A long time ago, my mom decided that the Easter Bunny would not come to our house. She didn't want the holiest of all holidays with its powerful message of resurrection and atonement to be obscured by a bunny bringing treats and toys. I never felt like I missed out. We still had a lot of easter candy--jelly beans always were my mother's favorites. I never remember feeling left out that the Easter Bunny never stopped at my house as a child. I have continued that tradition into my home and family today. My kids have an Easter egg hunt at their grandparents', the day before Easter. Sometimes they express puzzlement that the Easter Bunny brings stuff to their friends, but they never seem upset. They aren't missing out on any magic and wonder in any real way.

Christmas is a wonderful, magic filled season. The opportunities to make and keep traditions are plentiful. The season is also packed with office parties, ward parties, family parties, choir and band concerts, Messiah sing-ins, caroling, service and on and on and on. The Spirit of Christmas is felt best in the quiet moments though, in the stillness we cultivate, that we carve out of the hubbub of festivity. I want to make sure the traditions I foster, the things I give attention to at all times, but especially at holiday times, are worth the energy they require. I want as much as possible about our holiday celebrations to lead my children to the Savior, so they know where the true source of real power is and how much more important than magic this power is.