This month

This month has been more than I could get my brain around.

First there was conference with all there is to be done, that I need to do.

Then, the following Sunday, my grandma passed away after a massive stroke and a life of pain. Even though she is at peace and pain free, finally. Even though she had been missing Grandpa so much since he passed away. Even though I have a strong and abiding testimony of eternal families, my heart hurts. I miss her and that makes me miss Grandpa anew as if they had died within minutes of each other instead of years apart. And I want to find something wonderful and moving to say, to write and can't.

We went up for the funeral and I found myself surrounded by extended family that it will not be easy to see again, because Grandma was our easy link to one another. That was an unexpected hurt. People I love are just too far flung and it is too difficult to keep close to too many of the people I love. We actually rolled into town for the viewing several hours later than we had planned (always later than we had planned), needing a place to change clothes and unable to find one. The one friend I still know in Orem wasn't home. We used to know so many people in Utah County and now it's down to a very few, so we ended up changing clothes at the mortuary. Lovely. Another unexpected hurt to find Orem so empty, underscoring the raw fact that Grandma is gone and I can't pull into her driveway and hug her anymore as we're passing through.

We were in town for about 36 hours total, including the viewing, the funeral and a few precious hours spent with family. And then we drove home again to take DH back to work, Z to cub scout day camp and CE to her first swim meet. Oh, and somewhere on the drive home, DH informed me that the firm retreat was the next weekend so I needed to get a plane ticket and we needed to find childcare!

DH's parents stepped up to take care of the kids that following weekend and we had a lovely respite in Arizona for a couple of days and brought home some kind of stomach bug that nearly killed us for the next several days. Sometimes the kharmic "payment" for fun is far more expensive than the fun itself = five days of dying for 2 days of rest? Somehow doesn't seem fair. But we survived.

Oh and the fridge went out in the midst of this month and the repairman is finally coming to fix it today. And April is gone. I think that's a good thing.

Drinking from the Fire Hydrant

Maybe because M is still not sleeping at night. Maybe because DH has allergies that have him snoring unusually loudly at night. Maybe just because it's been spring break and my quiet re-grouping without children time has been zero. But I have been extra tired this week. So, as I sat with my family (family being loosely defined in this instance as those people we could bribe to sit through any portion thereof) to watch General Conference this Easter Weekend, I was tired and as each talk rolled forth with its timely messages and pointed lists (pointed by the Holy Ghost bearing witness that yes, this applies to ME) of the things I need to be doing more diligently, I became more daunted and almost thunderstruck by the end of the final session on Sunday. My dear friend described it on her FB update--drinking from the fire hydrant. There is just so MUCH that is required.

This morning, I am no less tired, but thanks to the IT staff that the church employs and my trusty iphone, I am already re-listening and slowly processing each talk. It will take me more than once. But in each listen, no matter how daunted I feel at the essential eternal tasks ahead of me, I feel so blessed, so drenched in the love of the Lord. That He would provide this near constant stream of guidance to us, for us, directly from His mouthpieces is so uplifting, so ennobling, so empowering (word used in a way NEVER used by the popular PC culture).

Having conference fall on Easter Weekend is a delicious blessing to me for in addition to the embarrassment of riches that is an entire weekend to drink in direct and timely counsel, my faith in and testimony of the divinity of my Savior is reaffirmed and my deep abiding belief that it is He and no other who leads this church is underscored. Jesus Christ lives. He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly (John 10:10). Perhaps to focus on that search for an abundant life instead of slogging through must do lists is the better plan of attack at this point.

Running out of teeth

A little while back, I took the kiddos for their semi-annual dental appointments. There were the usual x-rays and CE came out of her exam with the dentist telling me that her mouth was poised to lose about 8 teeth in the next month or so, because of which permanent teeth were formed and ready to erupt. I tried to take the picture above to show you her mouth. (note to self, taking pictures of missing molars is not a skill I have!) She has lost 5 of the 8 teeth already, 3 in about 36 hours. Combine this with the state of CW's mouth:



And our tooth fairy might soon be forced to declare bankruptcy. (although, if the debts are secured by teeth, then they can't really be discharged . . . can you imagine getting a monthly "payment plan" from the tooth fairy?--yes, I am such a geek)