On your marks!

It's a good thing I have fun friends, otherwise my poor children would be bereft of even more than they think they are in their self-pitiful moments. Our friends and down the street neighbors decided to start a bike race tradition for New Years' Eve morning. The kids helmeted up and grabbed their bikes and took off on a 2 mile loop behind our houses. Some were competitive, riding so fast their muscles still shook after finishing, some suffered mechanical malfunctions and cardiovascular limitations, all had tons of fun, earned their very own shrinky dink medals (yes, they still sell them!) and some Gatorade and enjoyed a crystal clear Vegas winter morning outside on their bikes. Thanks Eborn Clan! (we won't talk about the resulting trouble of realizing all the Fears kids had outgrown their bikes when we weren't looking. I swear they grow by the foot during their sleep!)

Things I need to do: 2012 what will you do to me?

2012 is around the corner. There are several things I want to be different this year. I want to have control. I want order. I want health. I want peace. I want balance. I want to be mindful and purposeful. I know these are a lot of wants and a lot of the same wants I search for, seemingly without result, every year. My dear friend, posing as my secret RS sister, gave me a calendar of ways to grow closer to the Savior. It's wonderful, really. But it's got me bugged, strangely. I know there is something awry with my worship and devotion, but still I'm not picking up my scriptures and changing things. I know there is definitely something awry with my personal care. I need to exercise. I need to plan and eat better. But even though this Christmas break has afforded me extra time and DH even home, I've only been running once (with a resulting return of the cold that will never leave) and no other forms of exercise at all. My kids need to find self-motivation. My only success on this point has been buying a 3DS for Christmas, for me, with which I am rewarding them with minutes to play in exchange for family work completed, piano practiced,etc and pulling minutes for peskiness and general bad behavior. The boys seem most motivated. CE has been in a major funk this break, complaining about everything. The 3DS seems to have limited effect on her motivation. Because of changes in DH's job, we will now have a great deal more paper juggling and budgeting to do. We want to really stay on top of things this time, but the best I can seem to manage is to open a budget file on my computer and stare at it. I need to sleep and wake at better times, but have dug myself and my entire family into a Christmas break upside down hole of Alice in Wonderland proportion that will bite us all in the butt in a few short days. And I have this cold, where I don't breathe, sleep fitfully and generally feel grumpy, unwell and filled with this ridiculous malaise. Happy New Year!

Jesus Is Born!

Christmas has not gone up easily this year. I just can't seem to coordinate my energy levels with actual time to do it. This morning, since Z is finally feeling better and back at school and other activities have waned for a bit, I decided to push myself to finish what I had started with my lame extraction of the advent calendar on the first of the month.

Miss M has been a fabulous helper, bringing all the enthusiasm a four year old girl musters best in the world. With every nativity I unpacked (I have four), she yelled out with glee "Jesus is Born!" Yes, Jesus is born, with all the wonder, glory, peace and comfort that brings. He is born! I wish I could make myself remember that supernally important fact better on a daily basis. President Uchtdorf reminded us so powerfully in the General Relief Society meeting how we need to remember the why of the gospel and not just the some times crushing "whats." Christmas often brings more crushing whats these days than at other times of the year. DH is gone more with his church responsibilities; we know of so much need and want to address it all with toy drives, subs for santa, secret Christmas jars, and on and on. But in quiet moments, if I can just touch back to the good news of the gospel that Jesus is born, the why can wash over me and the whats settle themselves.

Last year for Christmas, we were surprised with the twelve days of Christmas from members of our ward. I can guess at some of the families who participated, but others I still, a year later, have no idea. The treats were yummy, the surprises each night (especially on nights that DH was gone) were lovely for the children, but the best part of the whole experience was that each family wrote these tender thoughtful notes to us; thanking our family for sharing DH with them. These thank yous were, for the most part, very specific, very tender and have become, without exceptions, touchstones that I turn to when I need to get back to those "whys." Gratitude is funny that way. When we receive it, when we give it, we remember, we feel, we know in greater detail why we do the things we do.

Jesus is Born! Hallelujah! Jesus is Born!