This is my first baby. She is a pioneer for our family as the first child, the first grandchild on my side and now, the first to reach 18. We butt heads a lot, as she sees this looming adulthood as FREEDOM and I (in a more 'been there, done that') see all that she doesn't know yet and seek to teach her that adulthood is so much more about accepting responsibility and so much less about grabbing privilege. But, as our time together wanes, I am trying to do a better job of showing that I see how awe inspiring and praiseworthy she is.
When CE was a wee 3 year old preschool child, she was almost mute in her class. She loved to attend and would chatter to me about all she had learned and done that day, but each day her teacher would say, 'I know she knows her letters and everything else we are talking about, but she won't say it. She won't talk.' She would just sit there with her big, silent blue eyes, taking it all in. Until February, when she turned 4 and then it was as if the flood gates were opened. She finally felt comfortable and her voice was unleashed. The teacher couldn't get her to quiet after that. And that is really how she has approached much of the daunting situations in her life. She watches, she listens, she waits and then she leaps. And oh how she leaps.
She has never seemed to let fear stop her, or one failure to keep her from trying again and again. She tried out for student leadership in sixth grade and didn't get in. So she tried again in seventh grade and flourished, loving her time in middle school leadership so much that she wanted to continue the experience in high school. We are zoned for a high school different than most of the kids who attend our middle school and at the time, the high school and the middle school didn't even seem to speak, so no information was spread about how to get involved in high school activities. CE wouldn't let it lie. She wanted to be involved. We called her YW camp director (a teacher there) who brought CE into the school and introduced her to the advisor and the gathered council preparing for the upcoming school year in the days before school started. CE was willing to work. She attended all the work hours as the only freshman there. In fact, she was known for a while only as 'the freshman.' The advisor complained that she needed to come out of her shell. And then she decided she wanted to run for office. She ran for a class office, but against a girl with the same first name and lost. She ran for Student Body Secretary. An upperclassman who had recently fought cancer decided to run against her. You can't beat cancer and CE lost the race. She ran for a class office and lost by only a few votes. She still was undaunted and ran for regional representative at the state Student Council level. This required her to give a speech in front of many many students and adults from all over Nevada. She did it. But still, she lost. That didn't stop her. She's now the Student Body Secretary for her senior year. She is eminently responsible--the advisor trusts her over other teachers involved in student council and those teachers agree that CE is more orderly and responsible than they are. She picks up the slack when others drop it. She is the go to girl. But more importantly, she is the girl who makes sure the timid freshman knows where her classes are, that people are celebrated and nurtured and loved.
All while carrying a very full academic load and early morning seminary. Her freshman year she decided to make gospel conversation openings for herself. Instead of shoving her scriptures to the bottom of her school bag after seminary, she put her Book of Mormon on the top, so it would fall out, often, and she would be able to casually bring the gospel into conversation. CE defends her faith. She is smart and articulate and she doesn't shrink. She is waiting and planning for her turn to be a full-time missionary. I can hardly imagine the power she will bring with her.
CE is stubborn. She is strong. She is wonderful. I am in awe. And I don't tell her nearly enough. Funny how that snowy day she joined our life has so quickly turned into this desert whirlwind life where we anxiously await an email from BYU telling her she gets to go back to where her life started, this time for her own degrees, to begin her own adventure.
No comments:
Post a Comment