Have you ever woken up and realized that you need to change everything? That the key to better health, physical, emotional and spiritual well-being was to be found in changing nearly everything about your life and routine from breakfast, to bedtime and everything in between. That's where I am. This revelation is not helped by my sleep deprived brain (oil lacking, dried up bearings and all), by sick children or overworked husbands, but all those things attest to the need for change.
I know about baby steps and how if I try to change everything, it will all go bad. I went to Enrichment last night to hear one of my favorite women speak on nourishing our souls (I didn't cry too much and I did not succumb to the ugly crying). And of all the things that she said that I know I need to do, to change, her final words are the ones which resonated and gave me the most hope. She said, just change one thing. Make one change and just see. I can do that, even though it means restraining my deep desire (and long known character flaw) to start a grand new sweeping change everything program (always followed soon after by exhaustion despair and a return to everything that was wrong in the first place). I can change one thing for now and just see.
Snapshots from the crazy lives of the Fears Family: where we are, where we may(or may not) be going and what on earth we were thinking at the time.
9 comments:
I like that...just change one thing. I can think of some things that if I just did one of them would make a huge different...maybe I should try this too.
My six week checkup is on Monday. I have been saying I will start a whole lot of things after that. Maybe trying with one thing will be a better plan!
Good Luck! You are amazing!!
That sounds much better than changing everything. I don't usually have the energy to change everything anyway.
What will your one thing be?
I get like that in January and August -- I figure with the change in school or in the new year, it's time to fix every single thing about my life and my routine. =) But I agree it's easier to focus on just a few things at a time.
Thanks for your comment on today's Segullah post about modesty. I felt it poignant and it echoed my own sentiments. The same with this post. :)
I enjoy your writing and look forward to reading more!
Angie, I'm with you! I really felt this way at the beginning of the summer and wondered how in the world I'd pull school off when it started this fall. I've taken BABY steps in the areas I feel needed the most work (some of which you mentioned). I haven't perfected any of them (or even come close), but a "chipping perspective" has been a little more tangible (that and not expecting so much of myself). I've also realized I'm terribly hard on myself (probably like you). You have a full plate, lady. I hope you cut yourself some slack once in a while. I miss seeing you. :) Hugs, C (sorry, lengthy...)
I don't know if you are reading your comments, but I linked to your blog from a comment you made on MormonMommyWars, because I felt some sort of connection, and lo and behold, this post spoke to exactly what I've been feeling. Thanks. I have a tendency to go to these blogs when I'm feeling discouraged, looking for some spiritual sustenance, or just someone who's struggling like I am, and you provided me with just that.
The Russians have a saying, "tishe edesh, dalshe budesh." The quieter you go the farther you get.
The prospect of "changing everything" about myself makes me tired, even though I probably should,too. You have four kids and seem pretty together to me. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Who is your bishopric counselor?
Am I slow or what?
I have been here the last year or so. Baby steps.
Today, in conference, I loved the notion that if we are trying, we are repenting. That it's a process.
I love you.
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