It's been an interesting summer for me.
We haven't gone anywhere. People have come to visit us. This has been fun. But their visits were thrown into our regular routine where school must be attended, work must be done, callings must be magnified and life must happen. It is very different to go on vacation than it is to be someone's vacation. I need a break. I feel petty even making that statement. But as the days and weeks pass on, the summer ebbs in its never ending heat, I find myself avoiding the need to buy school clothes and backpacks. Not buying school clothes and backpacks will not magically send me to a spa weekend, send our family to Hawaii for two weeks or just get me a break from the inimitable whining that is the current soundtrack to my life. I think my brain is stuck, making the same ineffectual whirring sounds my a/c is making which the repairman attests to insufficient oil in the bearings. Thankfully the a/c is still under warranty. I can't say the same thing for my brain. I know I need oil--there's that year long metaphor from Christmas staring me in the face. But, I still feel like I'm treading water, just barely keeping my head above the waterline. Not so pretty.
So, as I look long into the future and see no point at which we can have any kind of meaningful vacation, the water treading gets slower and I just feel more tired. I feel like I'm standing at the bottom of a wicked hill up which I must run. So I run, slowly very slowly--you know that slo-mo run where it really feels like you're not moving at all and the crest of the hill grows no closer.
I'm reading fewer and fewer blogs though because everyone wants to talk about their fun summer trips and that just makes me bitter and sad. I wish there were an option on Facebook: "Hide fun summer trip pix" but there's not, so I rarely facebook for the same reason. I know it's petty to be bitter and sad when we have much for which to be thankful. Pegging my own pettiness has yet to make it disappear any sooner, it just makes me feel guilty and petty. So yeah, not going anywhere.
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2 comments:
okay you can't count our trip in with the pictures you don't want to see cause we weren't going anywhere either but we just decided we had to wing a trip somewhere or I might have gone totally crazy....it wasn't really a vacation in the sense of relaxing poolside...I spent most of the time in the lake cabin nursing!
So...come here!! we can not vacation together!
Well, our big trip was Disney back in May and since then, we've done NOTHING. Seriously. And when the kids beat on each other in the back seat on the way to Grandma's house, the thought of taking any kind of road trip just isn't all that appealing. :)
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