It hasn't been the fastest path to one hundred posts, as I seem to go weeks with nothing to say (well, not exactly nothing, more like no way to complete thoughts)
I've been thinking lately about the idea of nourishment and leisure. I was reading this article (either Washington Post or NYT, I can't remember) where a harried working mom worked with some sort of time expert to find where her "leisure time" was--if it even existed. The expert pointed to all the leisure time that she had and she didn't feel it. I don't know that she ever got the lesson that I figured out because of an Oprah episode back when I watched Oprah. Everyone takes down time. There's no way for us to go full speed ahead 24/7. So the trick is to be mindful of the time we take to make it a source of renewal (and no, Oprah didn't say this, I had my own little aha moment because of something else her guests were saying).
So, as I get bogged down and exhausted, I am trying to look more closely at the sources of renewal available to me, what is necessary for me to thrive and how well I am doing at choosing well. I know I need exercise. I'm learning to eat and sleep better. I'm learning to find pockets of stillness (and accept that for now they will likely be small pockets) for scripture study, prayer and reflection. I'm learning to listen better to what the Lord knows I need. I don't have the life right now for luxurious girls' weekends, for "maintenance" manicures or massages, or even for quiet afternoons of study or temple attendance. But, I can make choices that change me. I'm learning that while I may not have an hour to craft a stunning blog post, I can cobble together a few ten minutes over a few days and that those small acts of creativity are nourishing. I'm learning to choose better, little by little by little.
I'm still struggling with the out of my control nature of my life--where my best laid plans go all to heck because of a poorly timed phone call, vomit in the night, some one else's crisis for the bishop to manage, etc. Perhaps I need this reminder that any guise of "control" we have in life is a mirage. Life is out of our control and the sooner I learn to seek refuge and renewal as proactively as possible (even if it means an Indiana Jones style dodge and weave through life), the better off I will be.
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4 comments:
Thank you so much for writing this. I've been feeling a lot lately like I'm drowning in the midst of the chaos and monotony of my life. There never seems to be any time to catch my breath--unless it's 10 pm at night, and then I stay up too late and I'm worse off the next day. I like that phrase--"pockets of stillness". I wish they were larger pockets, but they are there, so I should take more advantage of them.
Love you!
ditto to everything..i probably shouldn't even be on this computer so i can find some real pockets of stillness!
I think you're right that we all have down time and it's what we do with it that can make the difference. I decided this year to set aside each day to fit in something I had felt I had no time for. Guess what? I really did have the time! Monday, I take an hour to blog, Tuesday to bake, Wednesday the priority is a writing project, Saturday I do photos, etc. I might only find 20 minutes to do some of these things, but the fact I'm making slow-but-sure progress on some things that weren't happening before brings a lot of joy.
i will be the FIRST person to take your children so that you can have some mommy maintenance time. you do so much for others so let me do something for you. :)
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