Push Start

There are so many time saving devices in my home, in my life. Because I am blessed to have a washer and dryer in my home, I can throw a load in and go about other tasks, allowing these machines of wonder to lighten my load. Because I have an awesome mixer, I can throw ingredients together and wash dishes while the mixer kneads my bread dough, shortening the time it takes for the wondrous aroma of freshly baked bread to fill my home.

Too many are the times when I have put all the clothes and the soap in the washer and, becoming distracted, fail to press start. So my clothes sit there and my time frame is slowed. This morning, I threw (gently placed) eggs into the pressure cooker so that I could have hard boiled eggs in the fridge for protein snacks and school lunches while I took care of other matters. But like too many times with the washer, I failed to push start, so nothing actually happened. You could say I am suffering from a lack of mindfulness. You could say I am tired, distracted or a lot of other reasonable and true things. Some times saying those things causes me to look at the chain of events and make needed alterations so that cycles are actually completed and my world spins more efficiently. But sometimes saying all those things just causes me to wallow. To sit in my exhaustion and distraction and mindlessness which is no more helpful than a pressure cooker filled with cold raw eggs. I need to push start.

The Start button for me comes in a variety of ways. Sometimes it is something I read or hear that causes me to find a missing puzzle piece that serves as a catalyst for change. Sometimes it is the whisper of the Spirit distilling upon me with answers that make all the difference. But in all cases, I still have to start. Since I want to start; I want the end product of the change I desire, I go about seeking catalysts. I listen to podcasts. I read. I write. I attend church and listen to conference talks. I study my scriptures. I try to attend the temple. I have found I can collect a lot of catalysts without actually using any of them. Silly me, I still have to push start.

Yesterday in sacrament meeting, I found myself so suddenly grateful for the myriad ways in which prayer has blessed my life. And that gratitude has led me to understand what a phenomenal start button prayer can be. If I will ask, if I will listen, I will be blessed. I have seen it. I have lived it. I'm trying a new thing, an actual prayer list, to more fully draw my soul out in prayer, to make me more receptive to promptings, to catalysts, to better push start.